My Society Seeks Affirmation

We mask over everything. The Average for the Average. It is hard, it is not unless you walk the journey... Have you ever seen something, that no one else sees, but it is there?

We have always believed in and been a fan of positive affirmations; My writing this may have confirmed this, how I wanted a positive review from friends who did the proofreading. However we never really consciously utilize them as an ongoing tool and strategy for personal development. Not everybody knows how to be social or can hold a conversation for so long without embarrassing themselves, but everybody wants positive feedback aways.

Human beings are social creatures, that is why you have a church, go to parties, and all that. We live in a constant system of feedback. You have the kind of friends you have because of the amount of feedback we demand. So when it all comes to it you ask yourself, am I this good? am I worth this? am I this fashionable? or is it just my ego? am I this or that…..

We’re all so scared of ourselves

We’re so scared to find out that we all have messed up thoughts and fantasies. That broken dreams, rejections, and broken parts are inside of us.

Feeling like we’re the only ones who are scared. Who feel depressed. Who feel abandoned.

So we “fit in”.

We fit in with others to avoid standing out and having others comment on how messed up we are.

We fit in because it’s better than being lonely and sitting down with our true selves.

This is why Oscar Wilde said, “To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”

Most of us dedicate our lives to being normal. To just being another person in this or that group. Nobody dedicates the time to being themselves. To live. And not just exist.

Yet, it’s not our fault.

It’s not our fault that we want to feel welcomed. Nurtured. Valued. Appreciate for who we are. Everybody just wants to be heard, everybody just wants a lover.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting attention and getting others to celebrate your wins and success. There’s nothing wrong with wanting happiness.

But fitting in is not the right way to do it.

It may have worked back when we were hunters and gatherers since we were more focused on finding the next meal as opposed to being ourselves.

Yet if you want to fit in then you have to do it in a way that stays true to yourself: hang with people who are like yourself.

Sure, you may never find someone who is 100% like you, (thank God, or else that would be very annoying) but you can always find those who are similar enough to you in areas that matter.

People who love the same as you. Who pray the same as you. Who reads similar books like you? Or even people who have the same mentality as you and are always looking to make themselves uncomfortable by hanging out with people who are different from them.

Most people are too afraid to conform to society most of the time. For, if you do not conform, you have to face the question of what to do which is not an easy question to answer.

We face this question all the time during our lives. A lot of our life is dictated by society. But we constantly face the choice of whether to conform or to rebel or be different than expected by society. Often, the real reason we conform is that it's easier, safer, and within our comfort zones (we love the comfort of validation) and we don't want to rebel for the sake of rebelling.

You have to have sufficient faith in your ability to chart your own life to break away from societal expectations, for if you do not depend on society for validation, you have to depend on yourself, and your good judgment. Seeking validation is ingrained within our human psychology. We’re all so scared of ourselves.

The concept of isolation